Monday, August 26, 2013

Beautiful braided hairstyles

Fringe braids
Hayden would look good with a freakin bowl of fruit on top of her head!  Or, a sack of garbage for that matter!  What a great look for any occasion and for any age group really, but to me, I think it's more for younger peeps...not old ones like me!  Rock on beATCh! Sorry..old people sometimes speak their minds and not realize it!


Waterfall/Crown braids
This is a great style for proms!  It's youthful and goes well with all types of gowns!  Very easy and can wear it straight too...of course you don't have to be goin to prom to wear this style! I'm pretending since I can't see her face, that she's really, really ugly and old!! Jk....where is the old lady beATCh braids??!!!


Wedding Braid
Isn't she lovelyyyyy...isn't she wonderfulll.....yep!  Great wedding hair doo for those who think they want to marry! IT'S NEVER TO LATE TO SAY NO...well until the preacher says TOO LATE SUCKAS! Haha yall know I'm just joshin! On a serious note, I think it's great for most wedding styles...maybe with the exception of very, fancy wedding venues and attire.  I love this look!  Kudos to the hairstylist that did this doo!


Cute lil braid I'm not sure I remember how to do
Great braid!!  This is an awesome braid for anyone that has long hair...mostly a youthful look, but anyone can incorporate this style I think! Prolly the blue hairs aren't gonna be sportin this do, but they'll still be wantin to try! Can my hair do that??? I don't know, can fish fly?

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Fabulous hair color for fall

Dyeing for a change for the fall?
Beauty and booty?  Just ain't right!! Why did God give her all the junk in the trunk...and perfect lips...and....oh I need to quit bein a big baby! There are pros to no boobies and butts! Surely!  Let's talk hair for a minute shall we?  Kim's very dramatic looking...very striking...if you're a brunette and want to stay that way, but lookin for somethin different, try going a shade darker for the fall.  Stay warm tho colors aren't cool!  Don't want to be lookin dracula different!  Halloween? Sure, go for it!  Maybe you're one of those gothy peeps and like cool, dark colors.. in that case, get you some a that cool, dark hair gurrl....we will all feel sorry for you and hold our purses tight! Don't want to get rid of summer quite yet, leave your ends a few shades beautifully bold!  Yea gurrl, gitr done!

Hello Brunette!
Keep your brunette looking healthy and beautiful with warm tones such as Jessica's.  She's got warm golden tones and streaks mixed in throughout her chocolatey doo.  I must say her bangs are a nice look for her.  Gurrl's sayin HERE I AM!  As with Kim, she's keepin it bolder with the lighter color at the bottom...but not too light for fall.  Great look!


Chestnut bound!
Are you light brown or blonde? Are you unpoopular?  Do you pop out at parties? Haha...sorry, I reminded myself of Lucy!  Lucy I'm hooomme...Anywho, add a lil chestnut hues to your locks to brighten up your look!  You crazy blondes, go a shade darker with rich, warm tones to spice things up.  Trust me, ALWAYS need to find ways of spicin things up gurrl!  And, I don't mean go reach for the oregano (for some of you blondes).  And not cuz your blonde, just cuz you will be old someday like me, and find yourself all alone, writing blogs, while your man is in a bar somewhere spicin things up with you know who, and never havin sex again as long as you live!!  Huh?  I did not just say that! So what was I talkin about? Oh...and you light brown boring people...there's no hope for you!  JUST KIDDING YALL..hahahaha...I crack myself up! Unfortunately, cuz I ain't funny...thankfully easily amused tho!  No, if you're dark blonde or light brown, you can do the same thing as the blondies.  Go a lil darker with warm, chestnut colors.  I think actually light brown hair with lighter ends, is my favorite look.....of all time and all seasons!  Do it gurrl...what are ya waiting for!?  Get your multi tonal locks rockin!!!

On fiYA!
Good gravy, who doesn't love this chick!!  She is freakin hot! And, I'm sooo not into women but gurlfren has it goin on!  If only I could have that hair!!!  It's very natural looking too! You gurrls that have the "paler" skin tones and want a bolder look, go for a golden, more coppery, make your man sorry for bein a jerk red!  You will turn heads without havin boobies! Go for it...WTF!  Sorry, I'm not sure where I'm getting this I live with an asshole attitude from!!  Just sayin don't be skerd!
Strawberry Fields Forever!
Sweet Amy....what a sweet, beautiful gurrl, one that we would like to have beat people up for us! Gurrl has great hair and can woop some ass!  Well at least in the movies...let's see how well she does in the real world...js!  And, she got to mug down with Mark Wahlberg, lucky bi*%*! Lawd, is there anything better than that?  Well, not that I can think of....but you beauties that have similar skin tone as Amy, try something different!  If you have lighter locks, add some golden hues with a little copper. And, go a lil deeper with a more coppery, red if your a light strawberry blonde...turn it up gurrl  and you'll be woopin ass too!  Prolly won't be muggin down with Wahlberg but hey, you will with somebody!


Honey blonde Blake!
Don't want to fray too much from your beautiful blonde locks?  Ok...we can't all be bold!  Be skerd!!  Maybe just add some golden or honey blonde tones to your  hair, or darken your blonde an all over golden hue.  Be subtle, (really? that's how you spell that?) and Blakey! All good....   


Hot honey gurrl!
Nicole looks great with this darker, warm blonde.  Personally, I've always liked her a lil darker...never have liked her as a blonde.  This color actually looks good on her...the darker crown with the lighter ends works for her!  Her features are softened by this color, not harsh. If you want to darken your locks, try this look...keep your crown darker a couple shades and go lighter at the bottom (natural ombre color).  Wow, I was very nice here....oh I need more wine!

I'm sexy and I know it!
Tired of your brown hair but don't want to be blonde? Jazz it up gurrl....darken or lighten one shade with warm hues...with cute lil Michele here, yes, I would go one shade darker and add some red to jazz it up! will thank me later on jazzing things up!! Buy some porno hair if ya have to! At my age..I'll do it!  Yep, I think I need to change things up!!  Also time to realize I'm worth warm hues!  It's time for me to listen to my own advice....I'm gonna spice iT UP! Woo hoo!!!  Are we still talkin about hair?

Sunday, August 11, 2013

What Women Want Most In A Man

Ohhhh the good ole days that I don't remember, when your man threw his coat down in the street so you wouldn't step into a puddle.  (I may have to get my poise pads out for this post.)  Let's be real here, if he ever went to this much trouble, he was only tryin to look up your dress!  And remember how cute it was that he wanted a bite off your plate when yall were on a date? Yea, he just wanted to speed things up for a game that was on the tv, or just wanted to get straight to the bed (and you were the one getting lucky).  Don't think opening the car door was that nice either, he was just tryin to impress the chick across the street! I'm old, I know these things, trust me!  But hey, I have learned a few things that I believe will help your asshole man...and most likely not! Let's just see how much we agree with these so called experts...otherwise I'm slappin a few letters after my name, and callin it a day!


Kind Gestures

Ok, so this dude named M. Gary Neuman, oh excuse me, Dr. M. Gary Neuman, wrote this book "Connect to Love" and has a few simple suggestions on how to improve your relationship...hahaha...just here him out for pete sakes!  So, to make our little hearts go pitter patter, Dr. Neuman says we need to make sure our man knows what makes us tick cuz they're freakin clueless, and in my opinion, that's where they like to stay! But, if he's a good one and just stupid, than he will be teachable. AND GURRLS, THIS GOES BOTH WAYS...we gotta give a little too...(sorry I couldn't get that print any smaller). They love to read in the john...I wish we could just tossem "Connect to Love" along with the toilet paper, and they'd come out all knowing!  No, they don't like reading "Connect to Love" kinda shit crap in the john....or anywhere for that matter!  Sorry Dr. M. Gary Neuman!  So, we have to make sure they read the book through our words, and we need to convey this message in a certain way.  Kind gestures is simply that...let your man know he needs to be kind a few times a day is all.  Like, he needs to kiss you a few times a day when he's home (I think I would even say which kisses you big ole wet ones, or just a peck will do...personally, the bigger the better I say...remember the direction you're wanting to go here), tell you he loves you, call you real quick to say hi, pinch your ass butt (so that was my suggestion) but hey, that could get you to the next gesture!  Anyhow, these kind gestures only take a few seconds, but are huge and make a big difference! AND, be sure HE knows IDIOT, IGNORANT, MORON, is not a kind gesture..just so he's clear...jk...not really...I said I'm old, and I know these things!


Well they look like they're having fun, or more likely, he's apologizing with a really nice necklace. And gifts are totally!  Seriously, a couple has to have fun together...duh! We have to have a date nite together without distractions.  No phones, no friends, no kids...just the two of you! Only like for six hours or so...(ok, so that was my suggestion again...tell your man it only really needs to be like two).  But, I say how lucky does he want to get!  Having fun is so's kinda rollin up all the things we want in our man into one!  I'm not a statistics gurrl, but I can almost guarantee that you're getting lucky after date nite! Even if you have to schedule it on your calendars, and with babysitters...DO IT!



YES....I want to rip his nipples off too!!!  But it doesn't help.  We need to tell the asses butts how to appreciate us (according to Dr. M. Gary Neuman).  YES, WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING...TELLEM HOW WE LIKE IT, WHERE TO PUT IT, WHAT TO DO WITH IT, AND YES HOW TO FREAKIN SOLVE IT!  And, it's not really cuz they're clueless, as docs and men want to try and make us think.  They're just lazy...they figure they have 10-15 years before they need to start givin a shit dern!  Frankly this is way too long to suffer, but this is the danger zone..and if you're old like me, and had a couple assholes buttholes, it's 2-4 years tops!  Isn't funny how I happen to come across a book that was written by a I'm guessing he had a wife that taught him well, and he decided to write a book about it, and take the credit...jk doc..these truly are words to live by...just playin...I ain't hatin...just statin!  Isn't ironiccc...I love Alannis Morresette!  I wish I knew how to spell her name.  All kiddin aside, tell your man how much you appreciate specific!  Did he put the toilet seat down after using it?  Did he wipe up the dribble on the floor?  Did he throw the beer can away in the trash?  We must say how much we appreciate him for doing so, if we want the same in return.  And, you have to be specific about how you want him to appreciate you!  Tell him he needs to say how much he appreciates you for taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, cleaning the whole house and making sure the kids are fed, bathed and put to bed, and that you have dinner cooked for him, and that you're laying there in bed spread eagle just waiting for him to get home!  Ok, so I crack myself up...sorry...I was teasing!  Point is we do have to be specific!


Ok, so we both give each other headaches!  Asshole Turd doesn't hear one word we say, nor appears to care, and our headaches come from tryin too hard!  Again, it is our job to make our man understand that he needs to listen to us...that he doesn't listen well....hahahahaha...ok!   Guess what...we need to be specificcccc...again!  Tell him "I'ts 8:00..I need to talk to you until 8:20! I need your attention for about 15-20 mins! Have him repeat what you said to him so yall are clear on what you said.  And vice versa!! Maybe it would be better if we just post posty notes all over us...that's pretty IN YOUR FREAKIN FACE SPECIFIC!  If he can't do that, move on to bigger and better things that await you! If he is in to you, and loves you, he should be down with this!  Just so ya know, guys can't really hang much longer than 20 minutes, according to Dr. Neuman.  Anything after that, he's in football land, neighborland, breakin bad land, somethin land! Personally, I think it blows that he can't focus any longer than this...but thankfully, I'm not of that species, and really, all we can do is pray for them! (Did you notice how nice I was? No bad words in that last sentence)!



This is kinda a no brainer, sorry if this just struck you as a viable reality!  You gotta spend time together, at least 30 minutes a day, according to you know who.  Both of you need to reconnect after a long day, destress together! Studies show that women that spend five minutes or less with their husband, or significant other, aren't happy! This is something I have dealt with all my life....I don't understand the person you want to be with forever, and love, is the person you spend the least amount of time with, and it doesn't seem to matter!  Just ain't right, and it happens all the time!  If you have a good woman, or man, and you're not spending any time with them, you need to take a big look inside yourself, and figure out what is so jacked about you! Also, you best be having sex too!  AND, that goes both ways!!  If you are always shootin down sex from your partner, there is something really wrong! Your partner will go elsewhere for intimacy! And now we're talkin cooties! (Another whole post).  If you don't ever want to have sex, FIGURE OUT WHY!  Go see a shrink, doctor, bartender, hairstylist, priest, (well maybe not a priest) but do something!!! Do you realize how fast 30 minutes goes by?  It's despicable, in my opinion, that couples can't or don't want to hang out for at least 30 minutes a day together!  It really ain't greener on the other side where people love to go!  

In a nutshell, love the one your with, dance together, hang out with them (more than you do your friends), expect nothing and laugh often!  If you can't or don't want to spend time with her/him, move on, for both your sakes!  And, don't say no too many times to sex.  You can't all the time, stuff happens..I know.  Remember, they're ain't nothin wrong with seein a specialist! Or you can just ask me..haha..jk!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Best Haircuts For Your Face Shape

Find Out Your Face Shape
Necessary tools for this task:  Vino, headband and tape measure (optional)..vino and headband is really all you need, AND TO BE AT LEAST 21 IF YOU GO WITH THE VINO TOOL!  Ok, so to find out what kinda mug you got, get yourself in front of a mirror with good lighting.  Make sure your hair is pulled back completely away from your face. You want to determine the width of your hairline and jawline.  Are they pretty much the same? Hairline wider? Jawline wider? Are your cheekbones wider than both? Is your chin pointy or square? And measure how long your face is.  Check out our cute little mug shapes below..

Hairstyles For Your Face Shape
Knowing your face shape is very important when it comes to choosing the haircut you want. You certainly don't want to choose a haircut that screams "My chin is so pointy, I'm usually asked to break the ice at parties"!!  Ok I'm kidding, that was a little harsh, but our haircuts help balance out our deficiencies. And I don't mean our deficiencies are bad.  It's just about smoothing them out and enhancing our facial beauty gurrl! It's all about contouring our lovely features.  I love my ass nose, but my haircut directs attention away from it so it's not so prominent!  My boyfriend says it's a heart nose...awww..ain't that sweet!  Have you noticed a short person with really long hair, looks really short? Like you could just squash her? Or, a woman who is large and has short hair?  Her head looks really small!  You ever see a balloon blown up to the max and someone let's go, oh never mind, that was rude..sorry! And personally, as a hairstylist, I don't care, if you're short and want long hair, cool! They're tons of short girls that have long hair, and they look fabulous! And they're a lot of heavy women that have short hair and are beautiful! I'm just talking about enhancement here gurrlsss..ok? Don't be hatin on me now!  Remember you can call me ass nose face!

Oval/Round/Oblong Face Shapes
Oval faces can do any haircut, and yes we all cuss the heffers, and the hearts and ovals always want to scrap, but we can come close to ovals!  Our goal is to create oval faces, but we just don't want the ovals to know it!  Our round lovelies have more width and smaller foreheads, so bangs are not a good idea, and you want to add height at the top.  Also, avoid volume at the cheekbones. Our oblong beauties need to create width and it is ok to have length.  Bangs are a good idea to help shorten the face along with some chin length layers.

Round Face Shape
Oval Face Shape
Oblong Face Shape

Square/Diamond Face Shape
Square shape faces
With our square shapes, foreheads and jawlines are the same width, and the jaw being the most prominent. Our diamonds have more narrow hairlines and jawlines, with the cheekbones being more prominent.  If you're wonderfully square, it's a good idea not to have bangs and better to avoid short hair.  Medium/long hair is better, and if want layers, make sure they come whispering around your jawline.  Our delectable diamonds would do well sportin some bangs and create softness at jawline with a few layers.  Avoid width at cheekbones.

Diamond Face Shape
Heart Face Shapes
I say what the hell is wrong with a heart face? Just look below!! I'll take it!!  I have a heart nose (aka ass nose) for pete sakes!  Heart is where it's at yo!!  We just need to all learn to get along I say!! Again apparently, anywho, our lovely hearties should sport longer lengths with more volume at the chin.  If you you're a little smaller at the hairline and wider at the jaw, go for more height and width above the ears.  (more of a reverse hearty). Your little hearty doo will be a rockin smarty face!!!

Monday, August 5, 2013

Ombre Hair Color Ideas


Natural Ombre Hair Color
Ombre hair color is still very hot for this summer and for months to come!  For people not sure about it, I recommend going more natural, especially for old peeps like me!  Natural ombre coloring is less maintenance too, which appeals to everyone of all ages.  Ombre coloring is good for all skin tones, and is a great choice for "first time" hair color clients.  Some people color the entire bottom half of locks.  I like to take large sections to lighten and leave a little natural hair color mixed in.  The ends should compliment the roots, meaning, there should not be a big difference from each other.  This is why it is good for all skin tones. People that can't have all over blonde color because it washes them out, can now have their blonde, and look sexy, fun, and "kiss my ass" fabulous!


Reverse Ombre Hair Color
Reverse ombre color is a little more bold, but is a very popular look!  I would be careful on how light you go at the top and where the dark starts.  Dark hair clients would be better suited going just 2-3 shades lighter than their natural hair color at the top.  Going really blonde would be too harsh for their skin tones (although some want a very bold look because that is their personality, and that's ok).  Even though the maintenance level is a little higher with this look, it's a great, sexy, "yea I got this gurrrl " look!

Bold Ombre Hairstyles
Ok so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, that probably this look is desired more by young people.  I know my momma would have called the cops on me if I ever came home sportin this doo!  But hey, I think it's a cool look. If you want everyone to know you have family drama going on, than this is the look for you!  I'm teasing, I think it's great to be expressive and creative, ya know showing your individuality! It can be pulled off!  I tell my clients to please just keep their clothes on!! I usually only see this bold move when people want to be half naked. Trust me "YOU'RE GETTING ATTENTION WITH THIS LOOK"! Back in my day, I probably would have had some crazy hair...but not naked...EVER!!  Don't worry, older clients can be bold, it just has to be done right!